If Only

12 May

Are you an “if only” type of person.  I guess at one point or another in our lives, we all are.  But there are people who seem to have more “if only” moments…..

Recently, I was visiting family in California when my nephew was killed by a train.  Sudden or unexpected death situations really bring out the “If only” moments in all of us.  That made me wonder.  Do I believe in FATE?  Is there a fated future for us all?  Do we have free will that changes our fate on a daily, hourly, minute basis?  If I turn left at the intersection, I could find a new and better route….however, if I turn left and get into an accident, then what? Was I meant to get into an accident? What if I get into an accident but it is still the better route?  UGH!!! HEADACHE FORMING!!!!

So anyway, going back to the death of my nephew…..if his parents had NOT allowed him to go to the dance that night, he would’ve been home and not died.  They may’ve been justified in saying NO since he forgot to mention the dance until the night before.  But since he was such a great teenager and son, he was allowed to go. Unfortunately, he never made it to the dance because he died just before.  

“If Only” moments come into our lives a lot more often than we realize.  In my life, I wanted to serve the military as a commissioned officer.  If I had done that, I may have had a better experience (not that I had a bad one – not at all).  If I had done that, I wouldn’t be married to my current husband because he was enlisted and we wouldn’t have dated.  

I see “if only” moments as past forks in the road.  Every choice we make, have made and will make in the future comes from forks in the road. We either go left or we go right….we either “go to the dance – or stay home”  Every single choice we make will lead to another fork in the road….the road we call life.  Life is made of choices, some small, some big, some life-changing.  Every choice we make results in something, whether large or small, significant or insignificant, they become WHO we are.  They don’t necessarily define us, but they do make us who we are.  Are you homeless, overweight/underweight, a cheater, a big tipper, a slob, a business owner, a celebrity???  

Obviously, I could go on and on.  We could overthink every decision we make, but who wants to live like that?  Live your life to it’s fullest.  If that means you like wine, instead of beer, or don’t drink anything at all…that’s ok.  Be in charge of your own life and try to stay as positive as you can because there are so many aspects of our life that we CAN control, and so many we CANNOT control at all.  Don’t live in the regret world of “if only”.   

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