Tag Archives: love

January 2nd…New Year plus one day:

2 Jan

On January 1st every year there are many people who are making New Year’s resolutions. There are some celebrating new beginnings eager to put the last year in their rear view mirror. And there are some who, for a variety of reasons don’t care to celebrate the Christmas holiday season that inevitably includes New Year’s Day.

I’m no different. I have made resolutions throughout my life. Some kept, others not. Over the last few weeks, and if I’m being completely honest it’s probably been more like months, I have been doing a lot of thinking about who I am, where I come from, early lessons learned that I still carry…etc. I could go on but you probably get the idea. And perhaps even remember some things from years past as you read. That’s okay. Let the memories flow. I will also add that I know not all memories are great but good or bad, they are a part of you. Every day since the day you were born, your choices and some not within your control at all – every one has formed the you that you are.

So here’s a little glimpse into me…

I was born November 1967. A few weeks later at the mere age of 23 my mother lost her battle with breast cancer. The day was January 2, 1968. With 3 other young children, she made the brave and what I can only imagine one of the most difficult decisions in her short life. She chose to not receive the necessary treatment that could have saved her life. A life to continue being a mother to her 3 children she already had. Now the details and timeline aren’t important but what is incredible is that at such a young age, she made such a difficult decision. What were you doing at 22 years old? Whatever it was, I’m sure you were probably trying to figure it all out. My mother was pregnant with her 4th child knowing that she was likely facing death.

I sometimes drift away in my thoughts and wonder what she would think about, what she did in preparation. How did she come to the conclusion that the choice she made was the best one? Growing up I even wondered if her actions might make her worthy of sainthood. Lo and behold as an adult I learned that there is a saint who did the same thing – chose death so her child could live. And that it happened in my lifetime. It actually made me feel all sorts of different emotions. I’ll make a confession: I reached out to the daughter who was born at the time of her mother’s passing. She responded.

My life has been like anyone else’s life. I have had an abundance of happiness and love. I’ve had many triumphs and wonderful experiences. I have also endured heartache, sadness and many difficult moments and experiences. Like I said I am not some special golden child who has all joy, no sadness. But every choice – good, bad, significant or insignificant have all led me to me.

I began my life differently than many but still better than others. I had my father, siblings, grandparents both paternal and maternal. I was surrounded by love and family.

Every January 2nd I take a few minutes to pray the rosary and thank our Holy Mother for being an inspiration and example for my own mother. I thank my mother for being so selfless and brave. I’d be lying if I said I had never asked my mom, the Blessed Mother Mary or Jesus WHY? Why did she sacrifice herself for me? Her choice changed course of the lives of many. Her parents buried a daughter. My father a wife and my siblings and I a mother. We’d forever be “the kids who lost their mother”. To this day I am still referred to as “the baby that she left behind” when I see family from her side.

So getting back on track. January 2nd is a sort of anniversary for me. Not a sad one but rather a reminder that everything we do in this life affects more than just us. Every choice changes the path of our lives. Every day.

So if you’re still deciding what your resolutions for the new year will be, try to be the best version of yourself for not only you but for every person whose life you touch. Fight less, be more patient, be more positive, drink less, eat a little healthier, walk and smell the fresh air. Be kind. Really be kind. Make difficult choices that may soon make you a better version of yourself.

May 2025 bring you more good than bad, more laughter than tears and the strength to endure and get through the tough days. Go live your best life.

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A Smile From Above

24 Jun

Image

 

LOOK AT US NOW!!

My sister decided to get officially married this last weekend and in less than 2 weeks in a joint effort, we created a beautiful experience for her.  For being such an unexpected almost no-notice event, we managed to accomplish so much….even my older sister came down from so far away. 

It has now been 11 and 12 years since my Dad and Mom died, respectively.  When they died, we all came together and swore we’d always be there for each other.  Well a lot of years have passed and so naturally there have been a lot of ups and downs. LIfe experiences, marriage, children, etc have all affected and molded each and every one of us. We’ve been through so much, sometimes not speaking to each other and sometimes having better allies than others.  

This picture, however captures beauty and love that only siblings can share. Whenever push comes to shove, we all come together…..but not only then as this picture depicts, we also come together for happy times.

Each one of us had our own special relationship with our father and our mother, and they with us.  Though they treated us all the same and we had to abide by the same rules, they guided us and showed us how to live our own life, individually according to our very own personality and with others since not only did have a large family, but we had to survive in this world.  

So as I look at this picture, I seriously have a deep love in my heart for each one of my siblings. I am fortunate  that our parents taught us that family comes first and the love we have for one another supersedes any anger, hurt, offensive arguing etc because through thick and thin, in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health we are like a marriage…joined by blood forever and ever!

 And now we are fortunate to have in-laws that have been brave enough to enter this family unit of ours…..and I for one am very grateful for them and those that have yet to come.  Men and women who keep us grounded and who help pick up where Mom and Dad left off.  Our lives are as unique as it gets and yet as “Salazar-ish” as can be.  I love you Mom and Dad for giving me the start to life that you did….for giving the knowledge I needed to survive my earlier years, the life experience of watching you to learn how I wanted my life to be…..the love in my heart to be compassionate towards others……my strength–physical, mental & emotional to deal with all that life throws at me….and for giving me all my siblings to continue to learn from, both older and younger than me.  I love and miss you but “take a look at us now!”  I hope that when you look at us all together it makes you smile so big from above….because I know it makes us smile down here—hoping! 

 

 

 

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Holiday Blues

18 Dec

As I sit here in my house, alone in my living room, I look around. My ornaments sitting in their containers from storage.  They’re sitting in the same place they’ve been for over a week now. I had a thought that I wanted my children to decorate the tree this year to give them a memory as well as for me to see this is a step to the inevitable that soon enough they won’t be in my home anymore since they are growing up after all. My husband and I shared a happy though not-so-healthy breakfast followed by him retreating to the den to watch some television.

So I sit in my living room about to wrap some gifts, dog at my feet and coffee in my hand. I am listening to Christmas music that takes me back a few years when I was a kid in a house full of chaos.  A time when my parents were alive, my siblings weren’t married and some weren’t even born. We lived out in the country on a ranch where my father worked. We lived a simple life like many in our small town. But with a huge family…at that time I had only 8 siblings, there was always something going on>> Noise, arguing, laughing, no privacy, in our 3 bedroom home with 1 bathroom. I decided I only wanted 3 kids and that’s what I had.

Now, their ages are 24, 20, and 18. I sit here alone with a part of me proud at the young men they’re turning out to be and a part of me wishing they were little running around the house laughing and wrestling on the floor. A time when they had no worries in life….when they still had both sets of grandparents.

So as the empty nest feeling starts to hit me a little, I think of all the people who have lost someone, especially this year and this will be the first Christmas without their loved one. A sad time, no doubt.

Christmas to me has ALWAYS been about celebrating the birth of Jesus, family, good and happy times. And that is what I want it to be for me ALWAYS!!! I hope that everyone can find a glimpse of hope in their heart that can spark a smile on their face followed by love and happiness in their own way. I pray that in the spirit of Christmas, we find the hope in our own hearts that each of needs to bring about true faith, love, and put Christ at the center of our lives.

No one can predict what will happen tomorrow, nor are we promised a tomorrow in this life…so from the bottom of my heart, I wish you all a very Merry Christmas and God bless you all.

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