On January 1st every year there are many people who are making New Year’s resolutions. There are some celebrating new beginnings eager to put the last year in their rear view mirror. And there are some who, for a variety of reasons don’t care to celebrate the Christmas holiday season that inevitably includes New Year’s Day.
I’m no different. I have made resolutions throughout my life. Some kept, others not. Over the last few weeks, and if I’m being completely honest it’s probably been more like months, I have been doing a lot of thinking about who I am, where I come from, early lessons learned that I still carry…etc. I could go on but you probably get the idea. And perhaps even remember some things from years past as you read. That’s okay. Let the memories flow. I will also add that I know not all memories are great but good or bad, they are a part of you. Every day since the day you were born, your choices and some not within your control at all – every one has formed the you that you are.
So here’s a little glimpse into me…
I was born November 1967. A few weeks later at the mere age of 23 my mother lost her battle with breast cancer. The day was January 2, 1968. With 3 other young children, she made the brave and what I can only imagine one of the most difficult decisions in her short life. She chose to not receive the necessary treatment that could have saved her life. A life to continue being a mother to her 3 children she already had. Now the details and timeline aren’t important but what is incredible is that at such a young age, she made such a difficult decision. What were you doing at 22 years old? Whatever it was, I’m sure you were probably trying to figure it all out. My mother was pregnant with her 4th child knowing that she was likely facing death.
I sometimes drift away in my thoughts and wonder what she would think about, what she did in preparation. How did she come to the conclusion that the choice she made was the best one? Growing up I even wondered if her actions might make her worthy of sainthood. Lo and behold as an adult I learned that there is a saint who did the same thing – chose death so her child could live. And that it happened in my lifetime. It actually made me feel all sorts of different emotions. I’ll make a confession: I reached out to the daughter who was born at the time of her mother’s passing. She responded.
My life has been like anyone else’s life. I have had an abundance of happiness and love. I’ve had many triumphs and wonderful experiences. I have also endured heartache, sadness and many difficult moments and experiences. Like I said I am not some special golden child who has all joy, no sadness. But every choice – good, bad, significant or insignificant have all led me to me.
I began my life differently than many but still better than others. I had my father, siblings, grandparents both paternal and maternal. I was surrounded by love and family.
Every January 2nd I take a few minutes to pray the rosary and thank our Holy Mother for being an inspiration and example for my own mother. I thank my mother for being so selfless and brave. I’d be lying if I said I had never asked my mom, the Blessed Mother Mary or Jesus WHY? Why did she sacrifice herself for me? Her choice changed course of the lives of many. Her parents buried a daughter. My father a wife and my siblings and I a mother. We’d forever be “the kids who lost their mother”. To this day I am still referred to as “the baby that she left behind” when I see family from her side.
So getting back on track. January 2nd is a sort of anniversary for me. Not a sad one but rather a reminder that everything we do in this life affects more than just us. Every choice changes the path of our lives. Every day.
So if you’re still deciding what your resolutions for the new year will be, try to be the best version of yourself for not only you but for every person whose life you touch. Fight less, be more patient, be more positive, drink less, eat a little healthier, walk and smell the fresh air. Be kind. Really be kind. Make difficult choices that may soon make you a better version of yourself.
May 2025 bring you more good than bad, more laughter than tears and the strength to endure and get through the tough days. Go live your best life.
Coffee, Wine, Sleep, Repeat 